アメリカ大統領夫人の秘密
この物語は完全な私の創作です。
「ねえあなた。この写真をみてよ。まさか私が大統領夫人になるなんて思えないでしょ」
あたしの経歴を自慢するわけじゃ無いけどさぁ、大統領夫人にまで上り詰めたのよ 凄いと思わない。この写真には謂われがあって、これがなかったらあたしが今の地位にまでくることはなかったわ。
正確には、今じゃ無いわね、もう引退したから。 さあよく見て頂戴。
スプリングフィールドから車で二時間の所にる、小さな村にね、とっても有名な占い師さんがいたの。
「ううん」今はもういないから、探したって無駄よ。あたしの友達が、この占い師がとても当たるからって見てもらいなさいって言うから、この写真をもって会いに行ったんだ。その占い師ってとっても小さくて、若い頃は 髪の毛は黒髪だったみたいだけど、よぼよぼのお婆ちゃんだから、白髪だったわ。
「あんた、写真は持ってきたかい」って言うから、これを見せたの。 そうしたらいきなり「わっはっは」って下品に笑い出してさ、あたしの顔を見て 「何処にこんな強運な女がいるものか」って、もう大変だったのよ それからも色々占ってもらったけど、「あんたに男を紹介するわ」って。
あんた達なら行き着くところまで行くから、私を信じてみるかいって、言うの。 今夜にでもこの街の教会へいって結婚しなさい。そして「直ぐに子供を作りなさい」だって。 なんだか田舎者の男をあてがわれるのかなって思ったけど。
けっこう背が高くて、映画俳優みたいに色男でさぁ、会ったその日に、子作りに励んじゃったわけよ。
「あんたここは笑うところだよ」
この写真を占い師に見せたら、あんたは強運の持ち主だから 知り合いの、強運な男と一緒にさせたんですね 。
そうしたら、大統領にまでなっちゃったというお話です。No way!
The Secret of the First Lady
This story is entirely fictional.
“Hey, honey, take a look at this picture. Hard to believe I’d ever become the First Lady of the United States, isn’t it?”
Now, I’m not trying to brag about my life story or anything, but come on—I climbed all the way to the top and became First Lady. Pretty incredible, don’t you think? This photo has a story behind it. Without it, I never would have ended up where I did.
Well… not now, of course. I’ve already retired from public life. Anyway, take a good look.
In a tiny village about two hours outside Springfield, there used to be a very famous fortune teller.
“Mm-mm,” no point trying to find her now. She’s gone.
A friend of mine kept telling me, “You have to see her—she’s unbelievably accurate.” So I brought this photograph and went to visit.
The fortune teller was tiny—really tiny. I imagine she had jet-black hair when she was young, but by then she was this frail, wrinkled old woman with completely white hair.
“Well then,” she said, “did ya bring the photo?”
So I showed it to her.
The moment she saw it, she burst into this loud, crude laugh.
“Ha! Ha! Ha!”
Then she stared me straight in the face and said, “Where in the world did a woman with luck this powerful come from?”
Honestly, it was overwhelming.
She told me all sorts of things after that, but then she suddenly said:
“I’m gonna introduce you to a man.”
She looked at me and said, “The two of you are destined to go all the way. Trust me.”
Then she added:
“Go to the church in town tonight and get married.”
And—believe it or not—
“Have a baby immediately.”
I remember thinking, Great, she’s probably setting me up with some country bumpkin.
But no.
He was tall, handsome, looked like a movie star.
And, well… the very day we met, we got straight to work on making that baby.
“Hey, this is the part where you laugh.”
Anyway, when the fortune teller saw this photo, she told me I was blessed with extraordinary luck, so she introduced me to a man she also believed had incredible luck.
And somehow…
he ended up becoming President.
Can you believe it?
No way!
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